Category: Parent/Child Relationships

Protecting Our Children

I would hope that most parents try to protect their children from the bumps and bruises of life for as long as they can or as long as the children will allow them. We do our best to help them avoid the skinned knees and sooth them the best we can when they do fall.

As they grow, we continue to guide their choices to avoid bad circumstances and ease the pain when they do choose incorrectly. We have to be careful not to sooth too much for it is in those consequences they learn to make better choices.

Children will all be different in wanting that protection for less time than others. When a child chooses to make wrong choices, depending on their age, trusting God to speak to them may be our only resource  because they will no longer want our advice or protection.

It is sometimes hard to watch them suffer when their circumstance could have been avoided. It is also hard because we may have been able to protect them for many years and now we have to watch as they sometimes make decisions that are not the best for them. These decisions can often be destructive.

We should pray for our children always, but prayer at these times may be our only hope of guiding and protecting by allowing our God to work in them and use what they experience to His glory for He can use the bad and make it good.

You Can’t Buy a Relationship

Sometimes people will do something for someone or give them gifts in hopes that they will be their friend. When this happens, the person receiving the gifts will often be a friend until the giving stops. Usually they want the giving to increase and when they have exhausted the person of their resources, then they no longer treat them well. The person doing the giving may begin to feel used even if they were the one that created the situation.

Many times, a person will continue to develop these relationships thinking that is the way to get friends. They get friends but don’t realize they are unhealthy relationships. When people expect things from you, they continue to want more and when you can’t give them more, they want out. You will begin to be at their mercy no matter what they put you through. If you continue to be willing to expose yourself to their demands you may begin to lose your self esteem.

Pride can be a harmful thing, but you must have some so that you don’t continue to be walked on. You can have good friends that don’t expect something in return. Those will be your true friends. Once you begin to develop some true friends that you can share a healthy relationship with, you should be able to boost your confidence and not be seeking friends that have a negative influence on you. You need to set boundaries and get out of the relationships that hold you back from being all that you can be.

Denial

Are you blaming others for the negative things going on in your life? Do you really think that how you live does not affect the quality of life that you experience? Most of what happens to us is a result of the decisions we make. Others only have as much influence as we allow them to have. Many will blame others because they don’t want to deal with the fact that they may have changes that they need to make. This only causes problems in the relationship because there is blame placed on those that are not at fault. Resentment and hard feelings can build and destroy the relationship. Both parties will have to work at mending the relationship. No relationship can heal unless both are willing.

No one can help someone have a more positive life until that person is willing to admit to things that are holding them back. They must be willing to make necessary changes. A problem can’t be fixed until that person recognizes the problem and admits to having a problem. We all have problems arise in our life at different times. We must be accountable for how we handle the problems. We must take responsibility for the outcome. Putting blame on someone else will never be the solution. At that point, it is a form of denial.

Offer Grace to your Children

“The problem with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are usually unemployed.” Author Unknown

Whatever we are going though with our children will pass. We don’t know how long it will last because we are not God but we have the hope that we will get to the other side of this season. We can endure because we know this will end sometime. Think of it as a long walk and you are so tired but when you know there will be a time when you will reach your destination, you continue to walk despite your struggle.

If we don’t have needs, we wouldn’t see a need for a Savior. We thank God for our trials so that we learn to depend on our God instead of ourselves.

Our seed and what we have sown in our kids will reap a harvest. It may not be the harvest we thought it would be but it will be the harvest that God wanted. Things may look different than we expected.

Let’s be thankful for our children despite their differences and the current circumstances. Let’s focus on their good attributes. When we see a fault, let’s turn our focus and think of something good. We see what we focus on. Let’s concentrate on their strengths and coach their weaknesses with love when we have the opportunity. We want to fix the problem and then be thankful. Let’s try being thankful for their strengths and let God fix the problem.

We need to give grace to our children as we receive grace from God. It is not earned and we don’t deserve it but it is offered to us from God. We must offer the same grace to those in our lives that haven’t earned it. We may see a closeness that we have not seen in a while. Just as when we receive God’s grace, He moves closer to us, we may be able to move closer to our child because of the grace we offer to them.

God will complete what he has started. God has not abandoned us or our child.

Jeremiah 31:16-17

This is what the Lord says, “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.