Category: Relationships

Don’t expect your child to have the same relationship with God as you do. Of course you want them to follow Christ but let them develop their own relationship with Him. God made us unique and He has a unique path for each of us.

If we require them to walk our path, we are short changing their walk and may also push them off the path. Their faith will be deeper when they have their own relationship. They will not have faith that will sustain them in life if they simply walk a path we lay out for them. We want them to pursue God for themselves so that they develop a strong relationship and a deep faith. We don’t want them to simply be puppets fulfilling our expectations to make our life easy. We will both be stronger for allowing God to have His way with us and them. He has better plans and makes each of us more than we can become on our own.

Be sure you let them realize God is also still working on you. We have to be “real” so they don’t see us or other Christians as hypocrites. We don’t want them to judge God or the Christian faith by where we fail. We don’t want them or others to turn away from God by the way we act or react. Remind them to not base their Christianity and their faith on what they see others do. We don’t want them to fail because of what others have done or are doing.

We want to give our children the freedom to ask questions. Allow them to realize you don’t have all the answers. When you don’t know for sure, encourage them to investigate it themselves. We are not to judge them. We are to love and encourage them. Just because they ask questions does not mean they are questioning our faith. Don’t get defensive or confrontational. It is a good thing for them to ask questions. That is a sign that they want to know things so they can do things right. We should still be learning and growing. We should be glad they are thinking about their faith enough to want to ask questions. God does not mind us asking Him questions so why should we mind when our children ask us questions.

When we have an answer, we should also ask them their opinion and also encourage them to ask God because He can confirm things and plant them deeper than we can. We need to make sure we don’t over extend our answer because it may be they asked because they are thinking but it doesn’t always mean they want our answer and we also need to be careful that we don’t go on too long trying to drill it in because they may not come back with their next question if we make it an unpleasant experience.

Just because we are raising our children in a Christian home does not always guarantee us having Christian children. We can do things that will actually push them away. We must be careful in our walk. God may be trying to do a work in us as well as our children. We must all work out our salvation. God will deal with each of us differently. Don’t get so focused on your child that you forget to examine yourself. The plank in our own eye may be hindering our view. What example are we living in front of them? They are watching. Do we uphold the commandments in our everyday life? Do we criticize and disrespect others or do we love and respect others including our children? When we are angry, how do we react? Do we lose control or do we show self control? Are we pursuing peace or are we part of the problem?  How can we expect them to be in control if we fail in our example. Our actions speak louder than our words. When we mess up, apologize to God and to our children.

We will be disappointed if our children choose not to follow God, but if we continue to pray, God will continue to work. Don’t give up! God has not given up! He will still be writing their story. God’s timetable and plan is different than ours. He is still doing a work in your child and in you.