What are you to do with that hurt?
We come to expect that we will be hurt by others at some point in our life. When the hurt comes from “God’s people”, the wounds seem to go deeper. Either way the wounds can cause eternal consequences if not handled properly. These consequences can be experienced by the ones getting hurt or those doing the hurting. We can find ourselves on both sides of the fence at different times of our life. People turn away from God when God’s people misrepresent the true character of God. Don’t allow others to have that power to turn you away and don’t be that person that causes another to turn away.
If your feel you have been hurt by another person, prayerfully answer these questions from Wounded by God’s People by Anne Graham Lotz:
• Where are you in your healing journey?
• Do you remember what your life was like before you were wounded?
• How did you get to this place?
• How is the way you are reacting today going to help you tomorrow?
• Do you want your life characterized by the result of remaining focused on “them” while being blind to your own pride, arrogance, anger, resentment, name-calling, vengeful digs, schemes for revenge, or vicious gossip disguised as prayer requests?
• Are these attitudes working for you and making you happy?
• Do they give you a temporary sense of satisfaction but then disintegrate into a desire for even more revenge? And more misery?
• What are you living for? Instead of living your life to the glory of God, are you driven by a desire to get even, vindicate your actions, prove someone else wrong, justify your opinion, expose the other person, get your own way?
• Consider carefully…do any of these desires truly honor God?
• When was the last time you put your head on the pillow conscious of God’s sweet peace and joy flooding your heart? If your can’t remember, could it be time for you to give your attention to considering your own part in the wounding?
“You might distinguish between forgiveness as letting go of my right to hurt you back and reconciliation as that which requires the sincere intentions of both parties” John Ortberg
Someone needs to make the first gesture to reconcile. You can and probably should make the first gesture but also be aware of any attempt that they may be making to reach out to you. It only needs to be a small gesture. In time, there may need to be an honest conversation in which both listen to each other’s story. Often times the problem was miscommunication or misinformation. No matter who is found to be wrong, the apology and forgiveness need to be spoken. Death to pride is the key to having broken relationships reconciled.
If a person has wounded you or has been wounded by you and you have offered forgiving words or gestures to reconcile the relationship and they reject your effort, take it to Jesus. He understands. He made the ultimate gesture and was rejected. Jesus can heal you even if reconciliation does not happen.
Death to pride and position is the key for reconciliation when a wounder seeks forgiveness. It is necessary to be Christ like.
• Be approachable as Jesus is for you.
• Love those that have rejected you as Jesus loves you.
• Initiate the contact as Jesus does for you.
• Extend forgiveness to them before they ask for it as Jesus does for you.
We can’t force reconciliation or change someone’s heart or mind. The Lord can, therefore we should pray and wait, looking for opportunities and open doors.
No person should have so much power to cause you unpleasant attitudes or to cause any separation between you and God. Take it all to God in prayer.
Jesus always makes the first gesture to reconcile. Are you responding to His gestures? Are you in a relationship with Him and responding to His leading?
Don’t let anyone have the power to keep you from all God has for you. When we don’t have the strength to let go on our own, God will give us the strength that is needed. Let Go!
• Let go of bitterness toward those that caused you to view God differently than His true character. Get to know Him yourself.
• Let go of confusion and fear. These are not of God.
• Let go of your desire to justify and explain yourself. God is your redeemer.
• Let go of your emptiness. He has a plan and a purpose for you. He will fill your cup to overflowing.
• Let go of your desire for revenge. Vengeance is the Lord’s.
• Let go of your hardened heart toward those that have rejected you. Jesus understands. He was rejected like no other.
• Let go of your loneliness. God is the God of the fatherless and of the widow. He is your God also when there is no one else.
• Let go of resentment over the way others have treated you. Consider how Jesus was treated.
• Let go of the injustice. God is Just.
• Let go of unforgiveness toward those that have hurt you. Unforgiveness will hurt you more than them. Forgive as the Father has forgiven you.
• Let go of the hurt. God is your healer. He came to bind up the brokenhearted.
• Let go of the anger toward God for allowing your wounds. Those wounds will bring deeper faith and spiritual fruit. God is more concerned with your character than your comfort.
• Let go of your life dreams and embrace what God has for you. He will give you the desires of your heart.
• Let go of the past to move forward. God has a future for you.
Let go. Give it to Him.