Author: LB

You Can’t Buy a Relationship

Sometimes people will do something for someone or give them gifts in hopes that they will be their friend. When this happens, the person receiving the gifts will often be a friend until the giving stops. Usually they want the giving to increase and when they have exhausted the person of their resources, then they no longer treat them well. The person doing the giving may begin to feel used even if they were the one that created the situation.

Many times, a person will continue to develop these relationships thinking that is the way to get friends. They get friends but don’t realize they are unhealthy relationships. When people expect things from you, they continue to want more and when you can’t give them more, they want out. You will begin to be at their mercy no matter what they put you through. If you continue to be willing to expose yourself to their demands you may begin to lose your self esteem.

Pride can be a harmful thing, but you must have some so that you don’t continue to be walked on. You can have good friends that don’t expect something in return. Those will be your true friends. Once you begin to develop some true friends that you can share a healthy relationship with, you should be able to boost your confidence and not be seeking friends that have a negative influence on you. You need to set boundaries and get out of the relationships that hold you back from being all that you can be.

Denial

Are you blaming others for the negative things going on in your life? Do you really think that how you live does not affect the quality of life that you experience? Most of what happens to us is a result of the decisions we make. Others only have as much influence as we allow them to have. Many will blame others because they don’t want to deal with the fact that they may have changes that they need to make. This only causes problems in the relationship because there is blame placed on those that are not at fault. Resentment and hard feelings can build and destroy the relationship. Both parties will have to work at mending the relationship. No relationship can heal unless both are willing.

No one can help someone have a more positive life until that person is willing to admit to things that are holding them back. They must be willing to make necessary changes. A problem can’t be fixed until that person recognizes the problem and admits to having a problem. We all have problems arise in our life at different times. We must be accountable for how we handle the problems. We must take responsibility for the outcome. Putting blame on someone else will never be the solution. At that point, it is a form of denial.

Are You A Smoker?

Do you see people on oxygen, some struggling to breath, some coughing, and wonder what is wrong or if they will make it through their coughing spell?

Do you say, “I never want to be that miserable”?

What are you doing to prevent it?

Everything we do has consequences. Those consequences are good and bad depending mostly on the decisions we make.

We can decide today, this moment to be a NON-SMOKER. There are helps out there to aid in that decision, but the best thing to do for yourself is to see yourself as a NON-SMOKER. Fight off the temptation. Just like anything you put off, like cleaning the toilet. Put off having that cigarette. Find something else to do.

If you fail, don’t quit trying. Put the cigarette out as soon as you realize you slipped. Be determined. You CAN do it. You will benefit from the fight you put into it. The longer you go without, the easier it will become. You may not believe it now but it will become easier.

If you gain unwanted weight, do something else to lose weight. Exercise will help and it will also give you a better sense of well being that will help with your ability to quit smoking. You will reap other benefits from the exercise as well.

Withdrawal time will be different for everyone. Don’t be discouraged. Temptation will come but don’t give into it. There is always a way out.

Helps:

Find support, accountability, encouragement, etc.!

Don’t keep cigarettes handy!

Avoid atmospheres that bring about temptation!

Avoid others that smoke!

Especially for Girls

It takes work and discipline to get the right partner to do life with.

It is easy to find someone to sleep around with, but those relationships don’t have real love and commitment. They tend to fail within a two year period.

The only way to find that satisfying relationship is by God’s standards.

The world, like things we see on TV and our friends that are living in sin, will tell us how to find that love of our life. We wonder why we go through the heartache and pain.

God has a better way. He knows what will bring us satisfaction and He has the rules to find that partner that we desire. Are we willing to do it right? The rules work even without having a relationship with Christ. A relationship will make it so much better, but the rules He laid down work better than any other. They not only work better, but they also protect us from many negative consequences including heartache and disease.

What kind of future do we want? What do we want our relationship to be like in 10, 20, 30 years? Do we want to look back and be “WOW” or do we want to look back asking, “Why did I waste those moments, months, years”? What kind of memories do we want to create for those we love and for us to look back on? What kind of life, relationship do we really want? What kind of reputation do we want? Our decisions will determine many of these answers and help to give us the life we desire. God gave us desires and He gives us the standards to meet those desires and He will help us. Seek Him and all that you can be. Don’t be less than your best.

Effects of pornography

I will see a Dear Abby type article every once in a while and the writer will talk about how their spouse has lost interest in sex and no longer finds them attractive. The response so often will suggest things to do without looking for the problem. I very seldom see a response that suggests pornography to be the problem. The symptoms they describe are so often, those that occur when a person is addicted to pornography, but yet it is never mentioned.

The addiction to pornography will affect how a person views their spouse or partner. It can cause a person to lose interest and even to the point of no longer being able to function in a normal marriage relationship. Young children can become addicted and get involved in stuff that will effect them into their adult life yet people are reluctant to face reality. People don’t want to make the effort to better their lives. They want to ignore the real issue and continue to do the very thing that is destroying their relationship.