To an addict, love is:
- · bailing them out of situations even jail
- · fixing a problem that they created
- giving them money
- feeding them
This kind of love may help someone that does not have an addiction but it will actually harm those with an addiction. Everyone may need help even if they don’t have an addiction but usually on rare occasions. If needing help is a normal trend, it is time to take another look. The addiction could be, as insignificant as it looks, sitting on the couch too much. Or it could be something that looks more destructive such as alcohol or drug use. Either way, the situation needs to be examined and handled with extreme caution. Anyone contributing to their behavior will cause them to continue with their destructive pattern and stay in their addicted frame of mind.
Love expressed to an addict should:
- · allow them to feel the consequence of their decision
- ask them what their solution is to their problem
- guide them and encourage them to make better choices
- say “No”
This kind of love is tough. No one likes to see their loved ones hurting. It has to be understood that it was their choice that got them in trouble. Without allowing them to hurt and feel the consequence, you will actually be causing them more hurt. They will dig themselves and their enablers deeper into worse situations. Boundaries need to be set to protect yourself and to help the addict come closer to wanting a better life. Love them and encourage them but pray over every situation so that you know what will truly help. We can’t always know what to do but God will guide us to do what He wants and show us what will be best for all involved.